Another Reality
by Suni Daughter of Moro
Summary: Inspired by the final episode. Shinji explores more possible realities.
1. Without Rei

Another Reality_  
Chapter One - Without Rei_

_::Where am I? What is this place?::_

_::We are inside your mind, Shinji. Your mind is taking you to another possible reality.::_

_::Rei…is that you? Where are you?::_

_::You cannot see me here. In this reality, I am nothing more than a voice in the back of your head… a passing thought… In this reality, I may as well be nothing.::_

_::What do you mean nothing? You can't be nothing! You have to exist! Why don't you exist!? WHY!?::_

_::I do exist… because you cannot get rid of me. However, I exist in this meaningless state in the back of your mind and I exist here because you do not want me. The reason why I 'don't exist' is because you don't want me to exist.::_

_::LIES! I do want you to exist Rei! I want you around! Why aren't you here!?::_

_::You can say you want me here all you like. However, the truth still remains. I mean nothing in this world and that is because - deep down - you want to be rid of me.::_

_::NO!::_

_::It is what you chose...::_

"No I didn't choose this! AYANAMI!" Shinji shot up in bed, cold and clammy from his own sweat. "I… must have had a bad dream. Who was I just calling out to? Ayanami? Who is that?"

_::You idiot! How could you forget Ayanami!? Wait a minute…how can I remember Ayanami when he doesn't remember? Isn't he me?::_

_::He is you, yes. But you are not him. He is not the whole you. He is just a facet of your being.:: _

_::Ayanami… I thought you said you didn't exist.:: _

_::I don't exist to the facet you. However, you can never fit your entirety into one facet. There are always many sides. For example, how many sides are there to a coin?:: _

_::To a coin?__ Two of course.::_

_::Wrong.__ You have forgotten all of the tiny facets along the sides of the coin. You have left out the entire third dimension. Shinji, you are the coin. The two large sides and all of the facets around the coin are all sides of you. Even those sides that others may deem insignificant are important to your being. That is why they cannot all merge into one side. That would defy existence.:: _

_::But how does any of this relate to you and me? I don't understand.:: _

_::In each of these realities, it is only a facet of you that actually enters the reality. Have you yet to notice that you are seeing one view through each eye?:: _

_::No.__ I noticed. And it's kind of scary.::_

_::You see the reality this way because one eye sees it through your facet's viewpoint and the other sees it from a nonexistent viewpoint. Like a person watching a movie, neither I nor you exist in this reality. However, you have a part of you inside of that reality. That is why you have two views.:: _

_::Wait… who is that?::_

"Good morning, Shinji. It's time for school," a young woman entered the scene. Her hair was a dark brown, practically black, pulled back in a neat French braid that ended with a blue bow, and her eyes were blackish-brown as well. Her voice was cold and hollow.

_::She is my replacement. She was designed by you to replace me. I **am** that easily replaced.::_

_::Ayanami… no, you aren't… You aren't that easily replaced.:: _

_::Then how did you replace me so easily?::_

_::Ayanami…::_

_::I don't blame you. I would replace me too. I'm so worthless.:: _

_::Rei…:: _

"Rika," Shinji turned to the girl and gave her a smile. "I just had the strangest dream."

Rika, as he had called her, seemed completely disinterested. She had no emotion to her face. She was like Rei but not; the same but different. "I don't have dreams."

"Of course you do. Everyone dreams. You probably just forget when you wake up."

"No. I just," Rika looked away, "don't dream."

"What time is it?" Shinji scratched his head.

"Seven fifteen. It's time for you to get dressed," Rika stated.

_::Where did this girl come from?::_

_::She is like me. Like me, she was created by your father for your father. Only, because there are no EVAs or Angels in this world, Rika isn't a pilot; she's a servant.:: _

_::Servant?:: _

_::Yes, he spent hours and hours slaving away in a laboratory to create himself a puppet who could cook, clean, and get you out of bed in the morning.::_

_::She's a slave?:: _

_::More or less.__ She's not really human and everyone knows that. She wouldn't be accepted anywhere else and so she has to stay here.:: _

_::But she goes to school doesn't she? She is wearing the uniform.::_

_::Even there they treat her differently. You'll see. You are the only one who treats her like a human being.:: _

Shinji buttoned up his shirt, tugged on his pants, and fastened his belt. Rika turned to face him again now that he was fully dressed.

"Breakfast is on the table. Your father has gone to work."

"My father…" Shinji growled softly.

"You do not like your father. You hate your father. I can tell. So why do you not leave?" Rika asked.

"I… just can't," Shinji answered.

"I do not understand. I see no reason as to why you cannot leave. I am bound to this place because I am not accepted elsewhere but you have no such limitation."

"Never mind," Shinji forced a smile. "Let's just go eat."

The two went to the kitchen and sat down at the table. Shinji began eating but Rika just sat there. She was looking at him but Shinji noticed that it seemed as though she were looking through him and into nothingness.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Shinji asked.

"It does not matter if I go hungry. I am just a puppet."

"Come on. Eat something. Here," Shinji held out his half-finished breakfast.

"If I am commanded to do so," Rika took the plate and began to eat slowly.

"You don't have to do as you're told with me. I'm only concerned about you. You can do what you like."

"We are going to be late for school," Rika said, standing up. "Let's go."

"Alright," Shinji got up and the two headed out the door and off to school. When they got to school, Rika went instantly to her seat and sat down, waiting patiently for class to begin. That half of the classroom was slowly emptied after she sat down.

_::Why did everyone leave when she came in?:: _

_::She scares people. As I said before, you are the only one who treats her like a normal human being. She is not accepted by the others. They even refuse to sit near her. That's why she is seated in the corner seat in the back - no seat to her left, no seat to her back, and empty seats to her front and right.:: _

_::She's treated… like an animal…:: _

_::Exactly.:: _

"Hey Shinji," Asuka came up to Shinji, who was in the opposite corner of the room. She giggled flirtatiously. "So, what's up? I heard there's a school dance next Friday. Will you go with me?"

_::Is **that**… Asuka?:: _

_::It is. She's madly in love with you in this reality. However, you never seem to notice it.:: _

"Well, I kinda thought… well, I think Rika might want to go and I'd like to take her," Shinji answered.

"I see, you've fallen in love with daddy's little puppet," Asuka growled angrily. She thrust her arm out and pointed at Rika vehemently, "She isn't human! Haven't you realized that yet!? She's nothing but a doll! Nothing but a puppet! You can love her but she can _never_ love you back!"

At this remark the room fell silent and Rika promptly stood and broke the said silence, "I am not a puppet."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Asuka objected. "You are a puppet! Nothing more than Mister Ikari's little genetic plaything! His slave! His obedient little doll!"

"I am not a puppet. I am not a doll. I am Rika. I am human. Shinji has shown me that," Rika argued forcefully yet calmly.

"You're nothing! NOTHING! Nothing but a wasted effort of rotten sciences! I hate you! I hate you! Why don't you just die!?"

"You don't know… how often I have tried," Rika pulled up her sleeves to reveal the slashes on her wrists. "The cuts keep scabbing over long before I lose enough blood to die. He won't let me die. No matter how hard I try, he won't let me die."

"Rika…" Shinji blinked. "I always wondered why she wore the long-sleeved blouse even when it was hot."

"If you can't die then just give up your life! Do us all a favor and drop out of school and slave your life away in the Ikari family kitchen like a good little puppet! No one wants you here anyway!"

"Leave her alone Asuka," Shinji insisted.

"I refuse to do that because it would be giving into his demands. I do not want to do what he asks of me. Coming here is my form of protest. This is my one and only freedom," Rika stated.

"No one wants you here! Go away! Go away! Go away and never come back!"

"Only if that is what Shinji asks of me," Rika sighed. Shinji's eyes widened. "I owe Shinji everything. He showed me that I was no puppet. He showed me that I was no doll. He showed me that I was the same as everyone else. He showed me that I was human. Whatever he asks of me, I shall do."

"Tell her to go away Shinji," Asuka persisted. "Tell her to go away for good."

"Why… don't you go away… Asuka?" Shinji responded, staring at his feet.

"What!?" Asuka demanded.

"You should be the one to go away," Shinji said. "I find Rika to be a decent human being. However, I find that you have a heart as black as the depths of hell. You go away, Asuka. You're the repulsive being that should go away and die."

_::Is that really me? Did I really say that?:: _

_::This side of you is the most courageous side of you. He speaks as honestly as he pleases and holds his tongue for no one. You hate Asuka, Shinji.:: _

_::No I don't!:: _

_::Then why did you tell her to go away and die?:: _

_::I didn't! That's not me!:: _

_::But it is you.:: _

_::It's not! It's not!:: _

Asuka quickly laid her hand across his face with as much force as she could muster. "You bastard!"

Shinji did not speak to her. He just walked across the room and took Rika by the hand. "Let's go."

"Where are we going?" Rika asked as Shinji dragged her out of the room and through the halls.

"Home. We're going to get our stuff and go."

"Go where?"

"I don't know. All I know is that this place is no good for you and that's wrong."

"But where will we go? How are we going to get by? We have no money… no food…"

"We'll… get by… somehow…"

The scene faded into nothingness.

_::What's happening?:: _

_::We're moving to another reality.:: _

_::We're moving to another world?:: _

_::No.__ You must understand something Shinji.:: _

_::What is it, Ayanami?:: _

_::There are multiple views of one reality. There are multiple realities to one world. However, that is where it ends. There is only one world and that shall never change. That is why you cannot eliminate what already exists.:: _

_::I understand, Ayanami. But what will happen to them?:: _

_::They shall manage… somehow. You designed it after all. I doubt that you would plan misery and woe for yourself. You have had enough of that, haven't you?:: _

_::Yes.__ Ayanami?:: _

_::What is it?:: _

_::I'm sorry I replaced you.:: _

_::All is forgiven.:: _


	2. Kaworu's Return

Another Reality

_Chapter Two - Kaworu's Return_

_::What's going on? I thought we were going to another reality. Why is everything still black?::_

_::You're still asleep.::_

_::Oh.::_

_::Don't worry. Here comes Asuka.::_

"Shinji! Get your lazy ass out of bed!" Asuka screeched as she ripped the covers off the bed. Shinji went rolling off the bed with a thud immediately afterwards.

"Let me sleep," Shinji moaned, trying to fond a comfortable position on the floor.

"If you don't get up we're going to be late!"

"I don't care. Just let me sleep. No one will miss me anyway," Shinji yawned softly.

"Open your eyes, shut your mouth, and GET OFF YOUR ASS!!!"

Shinji opened his eyes and a trail of blood instantly came forth from his nose. He froze.

"Hm? What's wrong?" Asuka blinked.

"Um… from this angle… I can… your panties are…" Shinji stuttered.

"YOU PERVERT!" Asuka kicked him. "Now get up before I kill you!"

Shinji got up and got dressed and the two headed off to school without breakfast.

_::I'm beginning to miss Rika…::_

_::I would too if I were in your position.::_

_::At least with Rika I got breakfast. Hey, wait, are you in this reality Rei?::_

_::Yes, but you won't notice me. You'll be too busy with other matters.::_

_::Other matters?::_

Shinji and Asuka were running off to school when Asuka struck up a conversation. "I hear there's going to be a new boy at school."

"Yeah. Apparently… no one… knows a thing… about him…" Shinji panted, striving to keep up.

"Well, so long as he's cuter and more civilized than the rest of you perverts I think I'll like him. Guys like you make me sick."

_::So who's the new student we're talking about?::_

_::You'll see.::_

Asuka and Shinji soon arrived at school. It wasn't long before their instructor Miss Hinako entered the room.

_::Where's Misato?::_

_::Two seats behind you.::_

_::She's a student!?::_

_::Yes.::_

_::Wow…::_

"Alright, listen up boys and girls. We've got a new student today so everyone please give our new friend and extra special hello," Miss Hinako giggled. "Come on in."

The door slid open and a familiar face walked in. "Hello everyone. I'm Kaworu Nagisa," the boy said.

"Silver hair and red eyes?" Asuka blinked. "Freaky but sexy," she murmured softly to herself.

Shinji just sat there blushing softly as an unfamiliar feeling wavered through his body.

"Mister Nagisa, why don't you sit beside Mister Ikari?" Miss Hinako suggested with a smile.

"Whatever you say, Hinako-sensei," Kaworu nodded.

"Mister Ikari, please raise your hand."

Shinji's hand timidly went into the air and Kaworu walked toward him and took the seat at his left. "Good morning, Mister Ikari."

"Mister Ikari? Oh, no, you can call me Shinji," Shinji insisted, "Mister Nagisa."

"Just call me Kaworu, Shinji," he smiled in return.

"Alright… Kaworu…" Shinji nodded and silently prayed that his heart would stop beating so fast. What was wrong with him?

_::It's Kaworu…::_

_::I said you could never fully take away in this world. You can always bring back what is lost. Even love.::_

_::Love? I wouldn't go so far as to call it-- no, it **was** love.::_

Shinji was incredibly nervous throughout the rest of morning classes. Then lunch finally came and he thought it would be his chance for escape. He was very wrong, however.

"Shinji, I do realize that we aren't very well acquainted but would you mind having lunch with me?" Kaworu asked him.

"Well, sure, I guess," Shinji replied, scratching his head nervously.

The two sat don together and began eating. After a minute or two of silence, Kaworu decided to strike up a conversation. "So… tell me about life here. What is this school like?"

"Hm? Oh. Well… school's boring. Either the work is too easy or too hard. The guys here are just average guys and the girls… most of them only talk to us guys when they're ready to deliver a philippic on what disgusting perverts we are," Shinji sighed. "And sometimes they aren't even provoked. Like this morning when Asuka came to wake me up. She pulls me out of bed and I fall onto the floor. Then I open my eyes because she ordered me to and I see her panties. Now tell me, was that my fault?"

"Not at all," Kaworu shook his head.

"Thank you. It's nice to know that someone agrees with me." Shinji went back to eating, "You've gotta be careful with what you say to these girls. They'll brand you as a letch if they catch you even passing through the hallway outside the girl's locker room."

"I doubt I'll have any problems," Kaworu politely argued.

"Oh no… you _will_. Every guy gets an earful here."

"Even those of us who have no interest in girls?" Kaworu raised an eyebrow.

"No interest in girls?! But girls are--_girls_! Are you nuts!?"

"No, I'm gay."

"You're--?" Shinji froze apprehensively. "You're gay?"

"Something wrong with that?" Kaworu asked innocently.

"No, I suppose not," Shinji answered. "It's just…"

"You didn't think I was?"

"Exactly."

"And you never figured you'd meet one?"

"Correct."

"And now that you have, you're on edge?"

"You've got me pegged," Shinji sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for. You will still try to be my friend, right?"

"Of course," Shinji nodded with a smile.

"Then what is there to apologize for?"

"I… don't know."

"You're rather cute," Kaworu stated. "Did you know that?"

Shinji just stared in response.

"Oh I'm sorry. Did I go a bit overboard with that remark? Terribly sorry."

"No, no. It's fine. It's just that no one has ever said that before."

"No one? I thought at least one person certainly would have by this point," Kaworu murmured.

"So tell me about where you came from. What was it like?"

"Not good. Lonely, cold, desolate… and very prejudice. I must have had to clean the word 'faggot' off my locker at least four times a week," Kaworu sighed. "That's why we moved."

"We?"

"Does that surprise you? Everyone has parents."

"No, it wasn't that. You just sorta… gave off the impression that you were an orphan."

"How so?"

"I don't know. I just can usually tell."

"You still can," Kaworu let out a soft chuckle.

"Hm?"

"I was abandoned at an orphanage as an infant. I'm adopted."

"Oh. Well my mother died and my-- I don't want to talk about it."

"You have problems with your father?"

"Yeah," Shinji growled softly. "My father… that bastard…"

"It's a good thing that you have real family, whether you like them or not. It reveals more about yourself," Kaworu smiled sincerely.

"You really think so?" Shinji asked, subconsciously asking himself another question - _"Why am I telling him all this? I haven't even directly stated any of this to Asuka yet and we've been friends since grade school…." _

"Yes indeed," he nodded. The bell rang. "It's time to return to class. Shinji, would you like to go to the movies this weekend? I realize we've just met but I feel like I've known you forever."

"Movies? You mean like a…" Shinji paused awkwardly, "a date?"

"No. Well, unless you wanted it to be a date," Kaworu laughed.

"Why not?" Shinji responded, much to Kaworu's surprise.

"Alright. It is a date then. I'll call you with the specifics tonight."

"Okay. Now let's hurry back to class before Miss Hinako throws a fit."

The two rushed off to class together.

_::Gee… I never expected either of us to ever be that… forward about it…:: _

_::This facet of yourself contains all of your self-confidence. It's not much when weighted down by your negative aspects - the fearfulness, the self-loathing, the rage - but when set free, it truly blossoms.:: _

_::Heh… A date with Kaworu. I wonder how this will turn out:: _

_

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A/N: This is a two-parter. The only reason it's not labeled part one is because I'm giving chapter three its own individual title. So sorry if you wanted to see Shinji and Kaworu at an ordinary movie theater but you'll have to wait.


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